


Half The Man You Think I Am

by Closeted_Calliope



Category: Trolls (Movies 2016 2020)
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Murder, M/M, Self-Hatred, and as always hickory is country troll now but im not gonna explain how or why, branch is a loving and understanding bf, but like for good reasons lol, delves into hickory's past with the yodelers n how he got into bounty hunting, hickory has got some issues and trauma, implied violence and death, its just important you know that hes horse man now, my buddy ros doodled and angsty hickory on tumblr and i was inspired, rated t for inferences to violence and past character death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-14 00:01:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29162343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Closeted_Calliope/pseuds/Closeted_Calliope
Summary: Hickory wakes up one night to find his past haunting him again. He's done a lot of things in this life, and many of them he's not proud of, but he still did them.He could only hope that Branch wouldn't hate him if he found out....
Relationships: Branch/Hickory (Trolls)
Kudos: 20





	Half The Man You Think I Am

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah so one of my buddies from the gay troll server Ros (if you're reading this, hi) did a little sad hickory doodle on tumblr (go follow him he's @dirttroll) and I was once again inspired to do this so I'm gonna write a thing now and it's all his fault lol. So yeah here's a little thing about Hickory dealing with his shady past. I'm not the most experienced writing angst but I wanted to anyway so take this with a grain of salt lol

_Hickory...... what have you done?_

Hickory bolted upright in the bed with a gasp, clutching his chest and panting. 

He quickly scanned his surroundings, searching for the location of the danger and was surprised to find Branch sleeping next to him, hogging all the blankets as usual.

That's when he remembered where he was.

He was in Branch's bunker, after a long day of assisting him and Poppy work on some construction in the country division of Trollstopia, which he supposed was meant to be a hub for trolls of all genres. He didn't understand the project entirely, but he did think it was a great idea, especially for Poppy and all her natural ambition. So when she'd called him in for some extra help, and Delta offered to let him take a month or so off from his sheriff duty to go assist, Hickory couldn't help but say yes.

The fact that he'd get to see his boyfriend again after so long going without was simply an added benefit.

Poppy hadn't even bothered to hook him up with a place to stay while visiting; she knew where he'd end up staying. And so, he'd been living with Branch the past week or so.

Realizing that it was just a dream and that there was no immediate danger, he sighed.

_That's the third time this week..._

Slowly, carefully, as to not wake Branch up, he slipped out of the bed and began to tiptoe towards the bedroom door.

"Hickory?" A groggy voice asked as he grabbed hold of the doorknob to leave. Hickory froze at the sound instinctively. "Wha.... what are you doing?"

"I... I'm just goin' to the bathroom," Hickory croaked out, wincing at how dry his voice sounded. "I'll be right back, darlin'." And with that he twisted the doorknob open and left before Branch could say anything else.

He made a beeline for the bathroom and flicked on the light. Turning the sink faucet on to the coldest setting, he ran the water over his hands and splashed it onto his face, trying to pull himself out of it. 

A few good splashes, later he turned the water off and gripped the edges of the porcelain sink. With a shuddery breath, he dared to look at himself in the mirror.

Hickory never understood what made trolls so inclined to trust him, because all he saw when he looked in that mirror was a liar, a criminal, a man who had done things no rational troll would even dream of doing. He could only see all the trouble and damage he'd caused.

Hickory sighed, a stray tear rolling down his cheek. Branch really deserved better than him.

He stood there for a few minutes more, trying to calm himself enough to handle crawling back into bed. Eventually, he managed to pry his hands from the sink and wipe the excess moisture from his face.

He opened the door to start heading back to the bedroom when he jolted back in surprise.

Illuminated by a single lamp, Branch was sitting on the living room couch, sipping from a mug filled with some sort of hot beverage.

He lowered his mug onto the coffee table and looked at him. "Something's bothering you." It wasn't a question, it was a statement, an observation.

Hickory attempted to assure him, "It's nothing you need to worry about, I'm fine."

"Oh no, you're not gonna get away with the old 'nothing you need to worry about' excuse again," Branch insisted. "This is the third time you've had trouble sleeping this week and I'm worried about you." 

He patted the space on the couch next to him and added, "Please, talk to me. I hate seeing you this way and it might help."

Hickory hesitated. He leaned on the doorframe of the bathroom and looked at the ground. 

"Branch, I...... I ain't half the man you think I am," he sighed, refusing to make eye contact. "I've done a lot of things in my life and many of them are despicable at best."

Branch considered this for a moment. Then, he responded, "I'll admit, I don't know much about what you did before we met, and I know it wasn't all good things, but that's not going to stop me from loving you with all my heart. You don't have to tell me if you really don't want to, but I still want to help." He patted next to him on the couch again.

Hickory sighed, defeated, and made his way towards the couch. He leaned into it so that half of his horse portion was sort of kneeling on the seat of the couch and his two remaining legs were lazily hanging over the edge. He leaned forward so that he was resting his torso against Branch, who smiled softly and took his hand.

They sat like that for a while, Branch gently running his thumb over Hickory's knuckles, not wanting to rush him into saying anything he wasn't comfortable with.

Eventually, he spoke up, his voice hushed and gravelly.

"It was never our choice to go into bounty huntin', but that's the thing about a line of work like that: it's not a choice you make, it's a choice made for you by the actions of others. The yodeling trolls were a happy simple folk, not unlike you pop trolls."

Branch looked up at Hickory as he spoke. He had a sort of warm reminiscent smile as he recounted his past. 

"Myself, Dickory and our little sister Dock lived together, spendin' each day yodelin' up a storm, hangin' out with our friends, just havin' a grand old time." 

Hickory's face fell. "But then, the avalanche..."

He paused and took a shaky breath.

"Dickory and I... we were the only survivors..."

"Oh, Hickory..." Branch wrapped his arms around his boyfriend, who hugged him back even tighter. 

They sat in silence for a few minutes, with only the sound of Hickory's sniffles showing up every few moments. He was crying, Branch was sure of it, but he didn't want to point it out and make Hickory self conscious about it. So he just rubbed little circles into his back, hoping it would help calm him down.

When Hickory spoke up again, his voice was a little strained from the tears. "Dickory, I think, felt like it was his responsibility as the older brother to take care of me and make sure I was raised right from that point. He was only couple years older but he still did his best to keep me fed and warm, especially during those bitter winters. He didn't talk to me about his feelin's much like I did with him, but I think he took the loss of everyone, especially Dock, really hard, and did his best to make sure he didn't lose me too. One particularly bad year, it was darn near impossible to find food, so Dickory ended up taking odd jobs for a while, from some of the other creatures of the mountains.

He paused and took a deep breath. "Somethin' most folks don't realize is that trolls aren't the only sentient creatures around these parts. Those mountains are full of other species of bein', a lot angrier and meaner than trolls.They all hated each other, and would do each other wrong all the time. That's why they'd bring in troll bounty hunters."

Branch hummed into Hickory's shoulder. "I was wondering why all those bands of bounty hunters existed when trolls were known for being pretty peaceful."

"Yeah, they all had different reasons for it, but those guys would get hired out by other creatures to settle issues they had with one another. Heck, Chaz was the one that helped Dickory get into the career in the first place."

"Wild..."

"But back to what I was sayin'. Troll bounty hunters were known for being good at what they do, and it only took a few outings with Chaz for Dickory to get a hang for it. He didn't tell me what he did at first, just left for a few days then came back with the food and money we needed for supplies. But one day, I got a little curious, and decided to follow Dickory on one of his little outings." Hickory chuckled humorlessly. "I wish I'd known better."

Branch could feel this about to go somewhere very bad, very fast.

Hickory continued, "I packed a small bag and followed him from a distance for days. Eventually he ended up reachin' a small band of wanderers- I think they called themselves the party crashers. I guess one of them had messed with someone or other in the mountains and they wanted Dickory to have them... taken care of. I remember followin' him to one of their tents and when I peeked inside, he was holdin'...." He swallowed a sob, his voice shaking ever so slightly.

"He was holdin' a knife above some sleeping party crasher. I must've cried out or something because he looks at me, horrified to find me there, as the party crasher woke up. He immediately starts railin' on my brother, he loses the knife, and they fight it out, but Dickory's never been the strongest fighter and ended up getting pinned to the ground. The party crasher starts beatin' on his face and I got so scared, I thought he was gonna kill him," Hickory's voice became panicked and he began to hyperventilate.

"I-I-I saw the knife, and I j-just got so scared and worried about losin' th-the only family I had left so I... I had to..." He trailed off into a fit of distressed sobs.

Branch's heart broke at the sound of Hickory's cries, holding him tighter and allowing his boyfriend to bury his face in his hair. "Shhhh, it's ok, I'm right here, everything's gonna be okay, baby, I got you," He mumbled, not knowing if it was helping at all but hoping that it did.

He just didn't want him to feel alone, not while he was like this.

Branch had dealt with quite a few trauma-induced panic attacks in his day, so he knew firsthand how much they _sucked_. Especially when you had to deal with them by yourself. He wasn't sure how he would've felt about having someone witness him at such a vulnerable moment when he was still grey, but now, he knew that having someone there for him while he was at his lowest could really help make an attack shorter and less severe.

So he let Hickory sob for as long as he needed to, just continuing to rub his back and whisper caring words to him.

Eventually, his cries began to grow less body-wracking, and he his breathing grew a bit steadier.

Branch refused to pull away until all that was left of Hickory's panic attack were the sound of his shaky yet even breathing and the occasional sniffle.

"'M sorry," Hickory murmured.

Branch pulled out of the hug and shook his head. "You have nothing to apologize for, Hick."

"But I've done so many unspeakable, unforgivable things, Branch, some far worse than that first time. I don't think you realize..." Hickory stared down at his hands, like there was some sort of blood on them only he could see, "...what a criminal I truly am. You deserve better than this, than me..."

Branch took Hickory's hands in his own, and chose his words carefully. "I know you have a long messy past that you're not proud of, and I don't think the things you did should be celebrated or forgotten, but it's important to remember that you were doing the best you could at the time to keep you and your brother safe and fed, and I think that, if nothing else, is really commendable."

Branch released one of his boyfriend's hands and moved it to his face, where he cupped his cheek and wiped away some of the paths of tears with his thumb. "And I know you know that what you've done in the past was wrong, but I think that just goes to show how much you've grown as a troll. You know how bad the stuff you've done was and a bad person probably wouldn't feel this guilty about it. Sure, there's a lot of people you can't make amends to, but you can better yourself and work on helping others as best you can."

Hickory smiled sadly. "You're starting to sound like Miss Poppy," He joked.

"She's usually the one helping me through my traumatic flashbacks, haha," Branch replied half jokingly. "But, you need to give yourself a little more credit sometimes. You've still done a lot of good for other trolls, for me, and the bad things you've done in the past don't erase that." 

"You... You really think so?"

Branch gently kissed him on the cheek and replied, "I know so."

The exhaustion from how late it was and his panic attack finally caught up with Hickory and he leaned forward onto Branch's lap with a sigh. Branch took this as an opportunity to begin running his fingers through Hickory's hair.

Hickory hummed contently, turning his head slightly to look up at Branch and ask, "How'd you get to be such a sweetheart, darlin'?"

"Dunno, must've awakened something in me when we met, because I don't think anyone's ever called me a sweetheart," Branch scoffed with a smirk.

"Not even Miss Poppy?"

"Grumpy-pants with a golden heart, maybe, but sweetheart? Never in a million years."

Hickory frowned as he remembered his less than ideal intentions when he'd first met them. "Do wish we'd met under better circumstances," he mumbled.

Branch shrugged. "Well, sure, but you came around in the end. Poppy told me how you were hesitant to turn her into Barb during the world tour, and I think that's gotta count for something." He planted a kiss atop Hickory's head and added, "Consider it the beginning of your redemption, my dear."

Hickory chuckled, "Well, I don't know about all that..."

Branch couldn't help but yawn, though not at Hickory, of course. "Sure is getting late. Better head back to bed, huh?"

"I don't know about you, bud, but I'm pretty comfortable right here," Hickory teased, snuggling a bit closer to Branch.

"Oh really? Well, I suppose we don't _have_ to go anywhere..."

Hickory laughed quietly, moving to get off the couch anyway, admitting, "You're probably right. Your back will thank you if we sleep in a real bed." He stuck out his hand to help Branch up.

He took it, snarkily remarking, "You? Concerned about my physical well-being? I can see my safety lectures are starting to pay off."

Hickory could only smile as he and Branch walked back to his bedroom, hand in hand, Branch switching off the lamp as he passed by and leaving them in the dark. 

It didn't take long for them to locate the bed in the dark and immediately entangle themselves in each other's limbs. 

Hickory gave Branch a quick peck on the lips before snuggling into Branch's chest with a sigh. He mumbled, "Goodnight, handsome."

"G'Night, Hick," came the reply, Branch's chin taking its natural place resting on top of Hickory's head.

And that night, as well as the rest of the nights he stayed in Branch's bunker, Hickory found himself sleeping more soundly than he had in ages.

**Author's Note:**

> dang my brickory fics be ending like *falls asleep cuddling in the late hours of the night* anyway I hope you all enjoyed! Don't really have much to say here except I'll see y'all next time!
> 
> -CC


End file.
